How much would you pay to go to the moon?
The real question isn’t how much would I pay to go to the moon, uhm …
it’s how much would you have to pay me to get on a glorified tin can,
blast off through fire and math,
and hope I don’t become space confetti.
Because like have you seen the headlines lately?
Everyone’s out here treating “moon” like it’s a new Airbnb destination.
Meanwhile, I can barely remember to water my plants. (Water your plants)
Elon’s over there soft-launching Mars
like a side chick,
NASA’s casually
talking about lunar bases,
and TikTok thinks “moon water” is an aesthetic.
Honestly, If I wanted zero gravity stomach drop, I’d just open my bank app.
(Cleo Banking App, call me, I wanna roast people’s finances to make your roast sessions of me feel less personal, okay I’ll shut up…)
The trending topics today tell the story themselves:
Taylor Swift’s jet tracker, student loan repayments, crypto crashes, Ozempic holidays, and AI therapists…
So sure… while the world burns, let’s just… colonize the moon.
Okay, no, maybe we’ll start a Starbucks up there…
Call it “Luna Latte,” yeah…
where every drink costs:
one kidney and a moral compromise.
If you really want to sell me on space travel, here’s the pitch:
✅ ~ No Wi-Fi
✅ ~ No meetings
✅ ~ No influencer ads
✅ ~ And I get to leave my to-do list in orbit
Otherwise?
You’re gonna have to pay me enough to make me forget gravity exists …
and that’s saying a lot for a woman who’s been emotionally weightless since 2017.
Would you actually go to the moon if money wasn’t the problem … or is Earth just chaotic enough to keep you entertained?
Drop your thoughts below, I’m watching my notifications 🔔
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